Love Like a Curse
by LadiSmilePretty
Summary: "Jo." He spoke her name like a curse. "I'm dying in two weeks."
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a little something that I found in my computer and thought, why not? It'll be short, maybe four, five chapters tops. Let me know what you think! **

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"We're closed." Jo Harvelle called over her shoulder to the patron that had just entered the bar. The beer bottles clanked together as she gathered as many as she could in her small hands. An old practiced art of hers.

"Hey Jo."

The rough as sand paper voice crawled its way on her skin leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. She stood straight up from her position at a table in back. Her heart beat uncontrollably in her chest, the pounding echoed in her ears as her stomach seemed to twist in itself. "We're closed." Jo repeated in a whisper. It had been four months since she'd seen him last. Four months and never once did he call like he said he would.

Of course Jo had no illusions that he would, it didn't change the fact that she was still pissed that he could make her pulse quicken every time her phone rang. Or every time some one would mention his name, he was so impossibly under her skin and she hated him for it. She hated that he could make her feel this way and she had little to no effect on him.

"Jo," He said her name like he was begging for his life. "Please."

Jo closed her eyes as she pursed her lips, willing herself to calm down. She took three deep breaths and continued her task of taking the bottles to the trash behind the bar. She wiped her palms on the thighs of her jeans before she placed them both face down on the top of the bar. "Well?" She gestured to the stool across from her.

Dean smirked at her as he took his jacket off, "Have a drink with me?" He laid his jacket down on the stool next to him and took a seat. He clasped his hands in front of him looking up at her with a pitiful expression on his face.

"No." Jo deadpanned. She was not going to give him an inch, she raised her eyebrows expectantly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here?"

Dean shrugged nonchalantly, "It's the end of the line for me." He quipped cryptically.

"Yeah, I heard about the deal." Jo nodded, "Didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

Dean sighed bowing his head to look down at the pattern the wood made on the top of the bar. "I came to apologize." He mumbled into his chest, "I just wanted to... you know, come by... before..." He trailed off never quite saying what he had coached himself on the whole drive here.

Jo eyed him skeptically, "Why?"

"Why?" He repeated, his gaze snapping up to look at her, "I just told you 'why'."

"Why did you want to come by?" Jo all but shouted at him. She was sick and tired of all the run around, she just wanted a straight answer. "Why did you drive all the way up to Duluth? Last I heard you were half way across the country. What made you want to drive all the way over here?" When Dean looked away again, Jo snapped her fingers at him to get his attention, "Over here, Dean-o." She said pointing two fingers at her eyes. "Just spit it out." Her whiskey stained eyes pleaded with him to just give up his bravado, just this once.

Dean stared up at her, his green eyes darting back and forth between her brown. He should never of come here. He would only break her heart. "I only have a couple weeks left." He blurted out, not really sure of what else he could say in that moment. "I can't stay long." When her scowl softened and her shoulder's slumped ever so slightly, he knew he shouldn't continue. But Sam was right, after all. She did deserve to know, how she hadn't figured it out before him was beyond Dean. "I had to see you."

Her brows knitted with sadness as she took her turn to look away, "Why?" Her voice barely a breath in the air.

Dean shook his head, it was a mistake to come here, "I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you," He confessed rubbing a hand down his weary features. He kept telling his legs to run, his arms to grab his coat, and his body to just get the hell out of there. But he couldn't. He knew being there was a mistake, and he just couldn't bring himself to take one more step away from her.

Jo sighed as she pulled two tumblers out from under the bar. She walked to the end of the bar toward the shelf and pulled off an old bottle of whiskey, making her way to the stool next to Dean. She poured three fingers in each glass and took a large gulp from her glass before she finally took a seat.

Dean tried to smother the look of pride on his face at watching her take a shot like it was water.

"So this is goodbye." Jo spoke over the brim of her glass before she took a small sip.

Dean nodded solemly as he wrapped his calloused hands around his own glass. "I'm afraid so." He whispered into the silence of the bar.

Jo nodded resolutely, she knew if she was ever going to gather the courage, it had to be now. She took another shot from her drink and turned to look at Dean.

"How do you see me?"

"What?" Dean looked at her incredulously. "What are you talking about?"

Jo polished off the rest of her drink before she explained, "Do you see me as a friend? A collegue? A little sister? Pain in the ass, what?"

Dean took a shot from his own glass, "Jo." He spoke her name like a curse. "I'm dying in two weeks." He begged her, "Does it matter?" His voice was tired, stretched, his shoulder's slumped with exhaustion.

Jo leaned her elbow on the table to get a better look at him in the dim lighting, her forehead creasing in anger. "Of course it matters. Dead or alive, I should know." She sighed grabbing the bottle and poured herself some more whiskey, "If not for you than at least for my own piece of mind." She took a sip from her glass and sucked on her teeth as the fire of the drink burned a hot trail all the way down to her stomach.

Dean regarded her for a moment, he turned back to his whiskey, tipping the glass towards him, peering into the amber liquid just as he had seconds ago at Jo. He took a deep breath before he poured the rest of the glasses contents in his mouth. "Pain in the ass, sometimes," He whispered as he set the glass down gently on the varnished bar. "I like you, Jo." He reached for the whiskey bottle and poured three more fingers in his glass. "Too much." He took a shot from his glass, taking nearly half of it down.

Jo stayed quite, not knowing how to respond. She did the only thing she could think of, she reached out her hand and placed it in his, slowly worming her fingers to intertwine with his.

Dean stared at their joined hands in awe. For a moment he almost forgot his impending doom. Forgot about the hell hounds sure to come, forgot about Sam, about his father, about her mother. He forgot it all.

He looked up her almost dazed, "I think I love you." It was the only explaination as to how she had gotten so deep under his skin. He pulled his hand out of her grasp with a sigh and buried his face in his hands, "I never should have told you that." He groaned against his palms.

"Why not?" Jo leaned back on her stool.

Dean's arms fell limply against the bar, "Because now it's worse when I die!"

Jo pushed away from the bar, standing from her seat, "Well it was gonna suck no matter what." She marched her way into the kitchen, "I love you too jack ass." She threw over her shoulder before the swinging door blocked his view of her.

"Jo." He pushed away from the bar and followed her, "Jo," He called for her as he kept moving further into the kitchen. "Jo, where are you?"

She shuffled her feet around and isle, wiping at her cheeks, "I'm right here." The annoyance in her voice wasn't hard to miss.

Dean smiled as he took her in, her blond curls hung just below her shoulder, her jeans hung loosely around her hips, and dragged on the ground. In that moment she looked exactly like the girl he had met years before. He was in front of her in three strides, his hands came up to cup her face and he wiped the stray tears away with his thumbs. "I'm sorry." He whispered leaning his forehead against hers.

Jo clasped his wrists in her hands in a sudden rush of fear that he would turn and leave pulsed through her veins as she gave him a teary nod. "Took you long enough." She tried to smile up at him, a sob escaped her lips as her eyes met his.

Dean wrapped his arms around her, tangling his hands in her hair, taking in her scent, trying to brand it into his memory. Vanilla and gunpowder. He pulled back, full well knowing there was no going back from there, knowing he was just making things worse. But he couldn't die not knowing. He placed a gentle bittersweet kiss to her lips, pulling away again just to be pulled back in.

Jo wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed herself flush against him. She kissed him with desperation, she needed him like she needed the air in her lungs.

Dean dropped his arm around the small of her back, pulling her impossibly closer as the other cupped her face.

She didn't stop him when he took her shirt off, his hands raking up her sides. He didn't stop her when she unbuckled his belt, pulling it achingly slow out of its loops.

Jo didn't stop him when Dean layed them down on the cold tile of the kitchen, and Dean certainly didn't stop when she hoarsely whispered "Birth control." And Jo definitely didn't stop him when he pushed her up against the door of her apartment. She also didn't stop him when she heard her bed groan at the absence of his weight.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling as the front door quietly shut. She closed her eyes against the rumble of the Impala outside. She reached her hand over to the side that he once occupied only for her fingers to twist in a tough string. She looked over to see Dean's trademark amulet laying next to her.

In three months she would find out she was pregnant. In four months, an angel would unknowingly answer her prayers. In eight months she would finally see Dean again.


	2. Chapter 2

Jo glared down at her swollen feet, angry red indents from the plastic straps of her flip flops stared brazenly back up at her.

"Be glad you can even wear shoes." Ellen said absently from behind the island of the small kitchen as she dried a glass. "When I was pregnant with you, I had to go barefoot for two months."

"Uh huh," Jo nodded, barely listening. The closer her due date came, the more scattered her thoughts became. Although they always seemed to land on the same man. She rubbed at her round stomach instinctively.

Sam had been the first person she called. Before anyone, her mother, or even her doctor. He drove fifteen hours straight to go to the first doctor's visit. She had been three months along. She had also been the first person he called when Dean had risen almost five months ago.

Jo had begged Sam not to tell him. She wanted Dean to come to her on his own terms. She didn't want him to feel obliged to be there before he had even seen her. She pinched the bridge of her nose in exhaustion. She didn't want Dean to feel obligated at all, she just wanted him to want to be with her. Not just because she was having his child. Not because of anything else. But because he loved her like he said he did.

"Jo, sweetheart?" Ellen called out to her gently, "It's going to be okay." She promised with a reassuring smile only a mother could pull off.

Jo looked up and gave her mother a water smile. She pushed herself out of her chair slowly, waddling her body back to her room.

* * *

"Hey, why don't we stop by and see Ellen?" Sam suggested as he stared at the welcome sign for Nebraska in the side mirror.

Dean didn't respond, he just tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"I bet Ellen and Jo will be happy to see your alive," Sam pushed. He was greeted with more silence. He sighed turning his gaze to look back out the window, "You can't avoid them forever." He grumbled.

"I'm not avoiding them." Dean argued.

"Fine, Jo, then. I know you saw her before you left." Sam hand balled into fists in frustration. He promised Jo he wouldn't tell Dean, and he would keep that promise, but Dean just made it so damn difficult.

Dean whipped his head to look at his brother, before he turned back to the road. "She told you."

"She didn't need to." Sam spit the words at him. "I knew that's where you were going when you left."

"Did you now?" Dean chuckled sardonically. It seemed like a life time ago now. "What else do you know?"

"I know you should stop by Ellen's," Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "Jerk."

Dean sighed, leaning his arm on on the door. He could still see her face, clear as day. He could never forget her face. He gave in. "We'll stop by. Bitch."

* * *

"Well look what the cat dragged in." Ellen called opening the front door as the two Winchester boys walked into the Harvelle living room. She threw the dish towel she was using over her shoulder, pulling Sam into a hug.

Dean extended his arms out to her expecting a hug as well. His cheek stung with the realization that he should have really expected the slap he got instead.

"What? You can't pick up a phone?" Ellen put her hands on her hips as she pursed her lips.

Dean nodded his head shamefully. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry." He looked around the room, quickly noticing it was one blonde short. "Where's Jo at?"

Ellen sized up Dean a moment before her shoulder's slumped, "She's in her room." She said hooking her finger over her shoulder toward the hallway, giving Sam a knowing glance.

Dean looked back over at his brother, noticing the look Ellen gave him.

"Go." Sam shoved at his brother's shoulder pushing him toward the hallway.

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Jo layed on her back, her giant stomach not really letting her rest in any other position. The doctors had put her on bed rest a month ago, and she had been bored out of her mind ever since. She twirled Dean's amulet over her belly, watching it make mesmerizing circles, when a knock pulled her out of her thoughts, "Come in." She called, continuing to play with the necklace.

She looked up to her visitor and the amulet slipped through her fingers. "Dean," She whispered, a name she hadn't dare speak for almost nine months.

His eyes darted from her face down to her stomach and back up again, "Jo?"

She struggled to lean up on her elbows. "Oh this?" She shrugged, "Apparently there is a 99.5% chance that you can get pregnant on birth control. Did you know that?"

"When were you going to tell me?" She could see the anger rolling through his body just with the way his shoulder's tensed.

Jo shrugged, "I don't know." She slumped against the pillows again and stared up at the ceiling, "I didn't want you to feel obligated."

"So you weren't even going to give me a choice?" Dean stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, leaning against it. He rubbed a shaking hand down his face.

"It's not like you were beating down the door to see me."

"I went to your apartment in Duluth. You weren't there."

"And then you gave up? Did you mean anything you said that night?" Jo let her legs fall over the side of the bed and pushed herself to sit up.

"Of course I did!" Dean shouted before he lowered his voice again, "Of course I did. I still do. I just..." He bowed his head and sighed, "With Hell... I just couldn't. I've done horrible things, Jo."

Jo nodded, absently rubbing a hand on her stomach. "I understand." She whispered looking down at her protruding belly. "I wanted to call you a thousand times, but I didn't want us to just be another thing to burden you with."

Dean nudged her foot with his, "When's your due date?"

"Two weeks." Jo answered looking up at him through her dark lashes.

"Okay," Dean nodded, calculating the time in his head. "Me and Sam have this job, but I should be back way before then." Dean knelt down in front of her, "I promise." He vowed.

Jo took his hand from her knee and placed it flat on her stomach. "Tell that to the kid." She smirked down at him.

Dean stared at her stomach in amazement. He smiled as he leaned forward and placed a kiss next to where his hand was. "Hey kid, uhm, it's your dad." He whispered against the cloth of her t-shirt. He jumped when he felt something thump against his hand. "Whoa, that's weird." He glanced up at Jo with a childish grin on his lips.

"You should feel it from the inside." Jo beamed down at him.

Dean reached up with his free hand and brought her face down to his, crushing his lips against hers with forty years of wanting.

* * *

Dean was five hours away when Jo's water broke. He made it to the hospital in an four. He got there just in time to cut the cord and hold his new born son, Harvey Winchester. He never imagined that he could love something so instantaneously and unconditionally in such a short period of time. He turned cupping Jo's face with his free hand. This was his family. "Thank you." He whispered before he kissed Jo in return for the greatest gift he had ever gotten.

Dean and Jo knew that they lived an extremely dangerous life. They knew it was no life to raise a child in. Dean knew that he couldn't be as reckless, and Jo knew she needed to stay home for awhile. And when she did go back to work they knew one would have to stay home while the other hunted. They knew one parent needed to survive. For Harvey.

They knew to never hunt together.

In a week and a half Dean had become a father. In two weeks he would learn he was meant to be an angels vessel. In six months the final seal would be broken.

And in one year Dean would lose almost everything.

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**Review now! **

**lol thanks for reading, hope you like it so far! **


	3. Chapter 3

Jo moved Harvey to her other hip. "You need all the bodies you can get." She argued.

"Jo we made a promise." Dean sighed sitting on the bed. "Harvey's only a year old. What if something happens?"

"Dean," Jo said exasperated with the conversation. She set Harvey down in the crib and took a seat on the bed next to Dean. "You need as many people as you can get. I don't want to leave our son an orphan, but I'd rather do that then leave him with out a world. Everything will be okay. We'll be back to give him his breakfast bottle." She smiled at him reassuringly.

Dean watched Harvey in the crib. Harvey turned and stared at him with the same brown eyes his mother had. He knew he would cave.

"Bobby can watch Harvey." Jo put her hand on his. "If this can get us a shot on the Devil..." She trailed off cupping his face so he would look at her, "I love you."

* * *

The world could have ended in that moment and Dean wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have given a rat's ass. Just let the whole thing explore, Dean wouldn't of even noticed. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he was screaming.

But he was on his feet and she was in his arms before he knew what happened.

"I'm sorry," She panted, laying a heavy head on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry. Please," She begged. "No, no," She sobbed as she looked down at her side.

"No, no, no, it's okay." He reassured her, kicking the door of an old hardware store open. "It's all going to be okay." He set her down near the counter, Ellen and Sam not far behind him.

Dean stepped back looking down at Jo. Her face was already pale from blood loss, her left side soaked in red. He covered his mouth with a shaky hand and Jo started to cry.

"It's okay," She promised him. Please keep going, her eyes begged him.

Dean nodded.

"We need to get our priorities straight." Jo looked from her mother to Sam, and finally upon the father of her only son. A son that would never know his mother. "I'm not making it out of here."

* * *

"Well here it is." Dean said sadly as he handed Jo the detonator.

"I'm sorry."

Dean bowed his head, his hands surrounding her small one. He looked up at her with tears lining his eyes. "Me too. I love you, you know that?"

Jo nodded silently, tears of her own sliding freely down her cheeks.

"I guess I'll see you on the other side." Dean said giving her a watery smile, "Probably sooner rather than later."

Jo smiled too, lifting up her shotgun and handing it to him. "Make it later." Her smile quickly turned to a frown as she took a ragged breath, "Tell Harvey I love him, everyday. Make sure he knows." She begged him.

Dean took her face in his hands, "Of course," He promised kissing her forehead. "He knows." He brought his lips to hers, for the last time. The last woman he would ever kiss, he vowed.

"I love you." Jo whispered to him as he stood.

He swallowed hard on his words, nodding as the tears streamed down his face, "I love you."

Sam pushed at him, "We have to go now." Ellen huddled under his arm, in hysterics.

Dean nodded again, taking one last look at Jo, he went out the back door.

* * *

When Sam finally pulled the Impala into the Singer lot, Dean refused to get out of the back seat of the car. Not only did he think it not best for him to drive, for fear of driving off an overpass, he didn't even want to be in the front seat. The temptation of jerking the wheel in a good sized ditch or tree was too much.

Dean had been sitting in the back seat for over an hour. He could barely look at Ellen, how could he possibly go inside that house and look at his son. His mother was dead. Jo was dead.

Dean felt hollow, he couldn't even fathom how he was going to live without her let alone raise their son. He sighed shakily, running a hand through his hair. The memory of that burning hardware store was seared into his retinas.

Dean heard the screen door creak open and slam shut. He heard the displacement of gravel under someones feet.

"Dean?" Ellen called to him through the open window. "You gonna come inside, sweetie?"

Dean shook his bowed head. He never noticed how much Ellen and Jo sounded alike. He felt his chest expand with another rush of pain.

"Alright," She sighed pulling the one of the back doors open and slid in next to him. She placed a hand on his before she turned his face to look at her. "I know you are hurtin', trust me, baby, I know. But you got a son in there, _my grandson_. You have to keep going. For him." She sighed dropping her hand from his face. "You can't let this destroy you like John did. Jo wouldn't want that."

Dean physically cringed at her name. Ellen was right, she was always right. Dean figured he would live a long life constantly being reminded of that very fact. He nodded rubbing his face with his hands. He looked up at the house. Sam stood in the door way holding Harvey. Harvey leaned his head on his uncle's shoulder and stared at his father. Dean stared back and reached for the door handle.

He didn't remember walking to the porch or entering the house. All he knew was that Harvey was in his arms and needed to be feed. Dean cradled him, just like Jo had shown him all those months ago, and grabbed a bottle from the fridge. He leaned against the counter and gazed down at Harvey as he sucked nosily from the bottle.

Dean could never tell if Harvey looked more like Jo or him. He had a golden brown hue to the fuzz that covered the top of his head, but Dean knew that could change with age, a lot of kids were blond as infants. His cheeks were rosy and a bit chubby, especially right now, gorging on his bottle. Dean smiled guessing that must be his genes, but then again, Jo could eat too. He had no tell tale signs that shouted Harvelle or Winchester. Except for his eyes. Those were Jo's. Those were the ones Dean couldn't look away from.

"I'm sorry little guy," He whispered as he brushed a stray piece of downy hair from Harvey's forehead. "Something really bad happened today." He continued laying a kiss on Harvey's crown. Dean was going to tell him what happened. He was going to tell him everything. Harvey was year old, how much could he comprehend? But Harvey stopped drinking from his bottle and pushed it away and just stared up at Dean, as if he was listening. As if he already knew and knew that Dean just needed to say it out loud.

"Mama?" Harvey asked urging him on.

Dean shook his head, moving to take a seat at the kitchen table. He set Harvey on the table and placed his arms on either side of the small infant. "I'm sorry." Dean met his son's forehead with his as he began to cry. "She's dead."

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**Hey guys! How are you liking it so far? Good, bad, rushed, anything? **

**Btw I got the name Harvey from Harvelle lol I know it's kind of a random name, but I didn't want to use any of the commonly used names for their kids. **

**Now review! **


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